dolphins are weird right?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by katanafish, Mar 7, 2014.

  1. katanafish

    katanafish The King of Potatoes

    like I mean they're like mammals so they're like people
    but underwater
    and they have these little flippers. flippers are weird man. like can you imagine if we had flippers? like we couldn't do anything.
    maybe high five
    no wait we couldn't even high five because we wouldn't have five fingers, so it wouldn't count
    it would be a lie
    your celebratory, collaborative hand slapping is a farce
    and they breath through a hole in the top of their head and I don't even really think they're real. like you see all these "pictures" of dolphins online, but I mean come on.
    weird flipper people flopping around in the ocean
    i dunno man
     
  2. BurnPyro

    BurnPyro Forum Royalty

    wat the actual
     
  3. katanafish

    katanafish The King of Potatoes

    dude it was late and I was waiting for the site to get up and come on there's no way dolphins are real.
    like
    seriously
    dolphins3.jpg
    what the hell is that
     
    Dagda likes this.
  4. ecoclone

    ecoclone New Member

    you know what the hell that is. MY MOM
     
  5. BurnPyro

    BurnPyro Forum Royalty

    So how good exactly is he weed you're smoking?
     
    Karmavore and Monroid like this.
  6. katanafish

    katanafish The King of Potatoes

    I don't even drugs
    just because I don't believe in strange flipper monsters doesn't mean I'm high
    you know what everyone else is high for believing in dolphins
    except for the devs because they're owls and owls are immune to mind altering effects and x ray vision
    they just don't even show up on x rays
    like x ray vampires
     
  7. Morfeas

    Morfeas I need me some PIE!

    Posting in a somewhat amusing thread.
     
  8. Senshu

    Senshu Administrator Octopi

  9. katanafish

    katanafish The King of Potatoes

    I still don't buy it. Your moving pictures can not suade me owl
    I have seen your libraries
    you sew lies
    LIES!
     
  10. Dagda

    Dagda Forum Royalty

    what does he sew lies into?


    a nice vest for the dolphins so they don't catch cold ?
     
  11. katanafish

    katanafish The King of Potatoes

    well i mean first dolphins aren't real so they can't wear vests
    second style why would they wear vests to keep warm? like vest aren't all too cozy.
    if you wanted to ward off the cold from your fictitious dolphins then you should sew them like a turtleneck or something.
     
  12. Dagda

    Dagda Forum Royalty

    but they're not turtles
     
  13. katanafish

    katanafish The King of Potatoes

    so wait only turtles can wear turtlenecks?
    but people wear turtlenecks.....
    I don't know man I just think dolphins are an illusion
    and the owls are probably behind it
    and starfish are evil
    so are flamingos
     
  14. Dagda

    Dagda Forum Royalty

    what if people are turtles and that's why they can wear turtlenecks

    think about it
     
  15. katanafish

    katanafish The King of Potatoes

    whoa wait whoa hold on wait
    but like turtles don't wear turtlenecks
    unless like if people wear turtlenecks long enough then they harden and that's why turtles have shells
    man
     
  16. Dagda

    Dagda Forum Royalty

  17. katanafish

    katanafish The King of Potatoes

    this thread is messing me up. it started out as just a simple conversation about the existence of dolphins and now I don't even understand turtles anymore
    I'll never be able to play tortuns the same way again
     
  18. ecoclone

    ecoclone New Member

    Sounds like the tortuns have been playing you all along by way of transitive property.
     
  19. JazzMan1221

    JazzMan1221 Better-Known Member

    The way I see it, dolphins are just anorexic whales. They got the same parts, just like you or me, but they don't like to be fat. Being fat in the ocean is like being fat in a public park. The spaces are so wide open that everyone can see you. Except they don't just see you, they point at you because you're a big fatty.

    Me, for instance, I get pointed at a lot because of my girth. I'm a whale, see? But what these other neckbeards don't know is that they too are whales. A whale always knows another whale by the sound of his jeering. That's how whales communicate, don't you know. You ever listen to whalesong? Of course not, because you're a dolphin. But if you did, you'd be able to tell that whales really all hate each other for being so fat. They say "Maaaaaaaan, you put on some weight! How many o' them shrimp you eat last night? Yall be looking so fat in yo new skinny skin skin!".

    Dolphins, they don't pay attention to no whales, just like whales pay no attention to no dolphins. Even when I tell 'em "I got yo fish right here, pal......", what do I get? Big fat wad of nothin', that's what I get. Guess it serves me right for being such a whale, but the point is, dolphins and whales don't exist any more than people exist. We're all just whales in a big pond, and these here dolphins want to screw us real good. And by screw us, I mean they want to fight us and steal our blubber, because in reality they're jealous of us for being so fat.

    That's why Dagda never bathes, because he's so skinny, see? He could never handle that much water with so little meat on his bones. He ain't no whale, and that's a fact! Anyway, if you're ever out looking for a whale, be sure to leave your number, in case he decides to call. Them whales get desperate after seeing such a young, handsome dolphin like yourself crawling about in the muck. See what I'm sayin'?

    Now that you mention it, turtles don't exist neither, on account o' the hillbillies who ate 'em all up inna soup one hoedown day. They been hootin' anna hollerin' fo days, just ichin' to take dem turtles down, but they never get 'em cuz theys is too slippery, like Widl Chufun affer da oyl.
     
  20. katanafish

    katanafish The King of Potatoes

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