Gather around and hear the true story of the Blood Owl as a vision gifted upon his followers: On the first day there was nothing but the abyss; cold, endless and unchanging. Liquin_3rd gazed before him and he was pleased. For the moment. On the second day Liquin_3rd deemed that the abyss should be shared by others and thus, in his dark and terrible wisdom, gave birth to man and the planets he inhabits so that they too may gaze upon the darkest of voids and revel in their insignificance.
On the third day the great and terrible Liquin_3rd grew tired of humanities fears of the great beyond and deigned that, truly, it was only his corpulent being that inspired true fear. Thus he revealed himself to a chosen few, madman and prophet alike, and drove them raving away from those they once called friend and family. Liquin_3rd was pleased.
On the fourth day, our almighty lord grew bored and lonesome so he summoned we small few to do his bidding.He beckoned us with the sacred owl to band together and do his every command. Only then did he have his pawns to play with even if the poor souls were just living dolls to him. Liquin_3rd was pleased.
On the fifth day, He looked upon the vast void of space, and spake thus, "Damn, there's still not enough room for Burn." And, lo, He did create a larger void. Burn is fat.
On the sixth day, The wrathful Liquin_3rd wanted to rule over more than mortal man. He created more pitiful sentient creatures to tremble in fear and despair. Separated them into pitiful rules and watched them slaughter each other. Liquin_3rd was pleased.
On the 7th day, Liquin_3rd looked again upon his creations. As he did his best to peer around the great vastness of Burn, he saw that his new creations were numerous. As great as the mighty Blood Owl was, he had exceeded even his expectations. His creations were simply too many and too scattered for him to be able to singly appreciate the fullness of the joyous sufferings, the pleasurable pains, the delightful sorrows that could be visited upon the faint sparks of humanity that did crawl and scratch across the surface of his world. (As all worlds are his) There must be a single location where all things great and terrible would be brought together. And so our great lord did create the internet. (Al Gore is a big fat liar) Blessed be his name!
On the 8th day, Liquin_3rd noticed that the internet became more vast than BurnPyro's stomach, and so there was finally enough room for the fatty to squeeze in. Blood Owl is love, Blood Owl is life...
On the 9th day Liquin_3rd set about his great task, using the corpulent form of the Burn as his building blocks he began to construct the entity that would soon become the "Internet". His brain, swallowed by flesh as it was, became the many servers. His veins, clogged as they were, became the streams of information that allowed those who had not yet witnessed the glorious Blood Owl access to his new domain. His voice became the thrashing and screaming of a million angry youths, roaring into the ethernet in hope of witness. As this construction continued fleshy lumps gave way into abscess' of sin and gluttony, these became known as 4chan and Tumblr. Liquin_3rd beget his greatest creation and was pleased.
The ritual is almost complete, we have almost acquired enough followers to summon our mighty Blood Owl. Embrace the lords powers, or be petrified under his mighty gaze.
Beware your heresy, lest you are condemned to read polltroy posts for all eternity. Would it not be better to join us in this day of celebration? Join us! Become one under his owly wing so that you may gaze up into his burning eyes with adoration!
