We all start out early in life with ambitions, and we quickly grow to find the hard-work needed to achieve such ambitions. Naturally certain tasks prove easier than others to work hard at. You may get a job you only kind of like ( if you're lucky), mostly even if it is the field of your desire, you don't usually actually enjoy it much for long, rather you live off the achievement it is designed to give (bonuses, praise etc..) You have money now, money equals the ability to do things you enjoy, freedom to do as you please. But once again you quickly realize the ironic "freedom" that money provides is equally weighed if not out weighed by the restriction to keep earning said money/freedom. Many think to themselves I should quit, I should start something of my own, something I can truly enjoy working hard at; As to earn something deeper than simple freedom in after-work hours, rather a sense of life with purpose. But the first steps never get taken, for as simple as it sounds the first step is usually very vague, if not unimaginable. So I come to you with a new discussion to be had, what do you feel is the right (if not realistic) way to approach this common life dilemma. Do you A) Suppress the feeling you are nothing more than a cog in a machine that may very well earn you a good living (ironic term considering the mental troubles you eventually realize you are developing) B) Allow yourself to be free, maybe even some-what modest in terms of living standards, but able to do what truly makes you happy ( or slightly happier than usual) C) Suggest a different view This of course only gets worse once a person has a family he must support, but I have not reached that stage in my life and can not fully conceive the notion of such a strain. Thank you
You know, your life doesn't have to revolve around a job. You can always have something that makes you happy out there either it be a hobby or family. Jobs are going to suck to some extent unless you're a fat cat on the top of the food chain so to speak. No one likes having to get up in the morning and go to the same thing every single day unless you're job is something special and giving. While there are jobs like that Firk if I know how to find em. When you do have time though, don't think what you should do with your life and have your job in the same mindset. Take a vacation when possible and do something you've always wanted to do. Doesn't have to mean traveling it could just be staying at home and finishing reading a few books or watching some tv shows. On weekends you can try to find something nearby to do that sounds like fun and just go do it. I think big problem with some hobbies though is that it becomes a chore to get the motivation after awhile because work day was long or too many other things to do over the weekend. Find something else. Want to rock climb? find something to go rock climb. Want to go swimming? Find a local place and go swim and meet new people. That's another thing, meet new people and make friends. Don't know what to do during the weekend or time off? Text around and see if anyone wants to do anything. Don't live for your job even though it pays you. Don't like your job then go ahead and start looking around for something else that seems better and try to get an application for it. But what do I know, I signed a three year contract and under pretty strict regulations about places I can and can't go. I still have fun with my buddies and get out to do stuff though.
I would say that putting your happiness on a job is a risky deal. Your words demonstrate this frustration. I once thought like you thought but I’ve changed my views. To me, work is a method of getting things you want/need. Working hard gets you gains in the area of work. That being said, I will not attach my self worth or happiness to this process. It’s entirely too volatile. That would (and has for me) create negative feelings. You’re right about the family thing. As you enter that part of your life you may not add more money to your equation but you’ll remove money spent in the want (freedom) column and move it to the need (obligation) column on a regular and increasing basis. Got to be something better on which to stake your happiness.
Happiness is such a complex topic that I don't dare give advice, especially as I do not feel qualified to do so. I'll just share what I do, however relevant that may be. I put a lot of effort in work, as thats what I enjoy most. I realize other areas suffer, but thats mostly because I care less for those and allow it. Balance is hard to find, but I believe its a personal choice you have to make. Review at times and adjust. You set your mind to certain goals and go for them. It never stops for me. Ive reached certain promotions the last few months, so now my goals are expanding these levels and working towards the next. Without goals I do not stay motivated and without motivation I cannot excel. There's always something I wanna improve. I would not describe myself as an extremely happy person, but I manage now better than before. Just my two cents.
For me, happiness is the pure awareness of being consciously present in the everlasting moment of "now". But when I don't do that, I really enjoy immersing myself in education. I love understanding things, knowing how they work. I also love understanding stuff holistically, because I've noticed that the most visible problem of the modern day man is extremely narrow specialization without getting taught the abillity to extract distilled knowledge from other subjects -- usually such extractions are done ignorantly and superficially, probably due to the fact that most people aren't philosophically educated. Thus, people are lost when they get assailed by the vast array of knowledge that our culture has produced and that feeling has a tendency to transfer to all other aspects of life. Then don't forget, all of us have a little devil within us that would much rather want us to build up hate and fatigue rather than try and reevaluate what we're doing wrong (the people that never did that, how miserable must they feel...) I think that no matter how much of shitty a job you have, as long as you have a craving for knowledge and felt that "pure awareness" happiness and are able to reproduce it again at will, to me you're more content than any billionaire in the world.
work so that you can afford to do things you enjoy. if you enjoy your work, that's a bonus. this is gonna mean budgeting, it's gonna mean re-assessing what you have and what you want, and it's probably gonna mean changing various aspects of your life. don't wear yourself to the bone just so you can go back to work again. (also accept that there are many situations where you're not going to be able to support your hobby/ies. work to get to that place, and then decide if you want more)
Just live in a vortex of despair, denial and escapism like the rest of us. ( being snarky and sarcastic makes me happy)
I am going to ramble on a bit here but bare with me and if you need any clarification on anything do shout up. Rather than answer your questions with this is what I did and I think you should do this, I am going to ask you some questions to ask yourself and offer some advice. On suppressing the feeling you are nothing more than a cog in a machine - why suppress this, you are a cog in many machines on many levels. From working in a bottle factory packing boxes to being a CEO of your own company to going to the store to pick up your food shopping. Kissing your partner good bye before you leave the house in the morning for that depressing job is a cog in his or hers day/week/year/life. Ask yourself why would having a secure, regular income from a stable job with set hours cause you mental troubles? On allowing yourself to be free, what does free actually mean for you,why do you choose the term free and what do you think your life would look like if you was the free you are describing to yourself right now. Do you really know what would make you happy, if someone asked you, could you tell them why you would be happy doing whatever it is you want to do (I am assuming it is running some sort of business to do with a hobby or something). Do you know why you want to do whatever it is and where that want came from? Is it to do with self-worth or living up to someones (as a male usually a father figures) expectations. When you feel happy or sad or any other emotion do you understand what is happening in your brain, can you replicate the chemical releases you want without the need to quit your job and start up a company? On getting worse once a person has a family - You say you have not reached that stage in your life yet I am guessing you are 22-23 since you are doing this soul searching. Who says you have to have to put yourself under this strain, why does it need to be a strain at all? In most circumstances you can choose when to start a family if at all. A different view would be this - what is wrong with being happy with what you already have? Are things really so bad? This is not to say lack ambition or drive. To give some context of where im coming from I am 29, paying for our wedding this year, my partner doesnt work because she looks after our 2 year old autistic son and I am pretty darn happy with my lot. I dont expect an answer to anything I have said, just something to think about.
Thanks guys, after reading all your advice and thinking for a couple of days, I think I decided I'm simply not happy with what I'm currently doing/my field. But will continue to do it while I work on getting my other hobbies/goals to a level where I can live off them. It's interesting in theory my field (finance/economics) is great, I love the theory, the mathematics, but sitting around with the sole objective of making money is the most soul-crushing thing imaginable; What is money anyway... it is a joke that enslaves us all, and I'm sorry I had to get this far to figure it out. It's never too late to stop surviving and start living folks.
This helped me a lot when i was in a similar position as you a few years back. my brother showed it to me and it really helped me to get perspective and understand where i wanted to be standing in my life
